When I was a little girl I saw the Disney film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. There is a part in the film where Snow White stumbles upon the cottage in the woods and sets about cleaning it up. When the dwarfs return from their day’s work they find their home spic and span, and a hot meal cooking on the stove. That scene resonated happiness for me. I didn’t realise it at the time but the notion of providing a warm, comforting, nurturing home for the family became my dream and now, at 50 years of age, it is still strong.
When I left school to start my adult life I put that dream aside. I said to myself that I never wanted to get married, have children or settle down. I wanted an exciting, creative life not a boring 9-15 office job. Despite many opportunities to pursue that lifestyle I never took it up. I just didn’t have the drive to go after it. I didn’t know it then but my heart was with that Snow White scene and the cosy homemaking vibe which spoke to my introvert self.
After 10 years in the workforce I ended up having a child on my own. I eventually returned to full time work and by some weird but fabulous turn of events which I still can’t quite figure out, I managed to get a mortgage for a modest house. Needless to say at times things were extremely hard and boy did I sacrifice A LOT but I got through it.
It is now 21 years on. In the last year, I quit my full-time job and established my own consulting business so I could work from home.
I also met and married my partner and we have set up a home in his house which we share with his 20 year old son and my dog. My son who is 21 years old, continues to live in my house with our two cats where he runs his own film editing business. My husband and I have just upgraded our cars (still modest but better than what we had) and we live in a lovely suburb on the outskirts of Wellington city. Life is good.
While colleagues and peers chase business opportunities and that sharp and shiny lifestyle that corporate ambition brings, I long for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-wife. I adore spending hours in the kitchen cooking vegan meals, using vegetables that my husband has grown in his garden.
I get real pleasure out of turning the house into a clean, comfortable home. I love that my husband and his son can sit down with me at the end of the day and enjoy a home-cooked meal and feel like they are home. I also secretly like it when they find it hard to recreate the same environment whenever I’m away. It reminds me that I make a much-needed contribution and that it is appreciated.
If I step back and look at where I’ve come from I can see that I am a ‘do-er’. In my own quietly focused way I overcome obstacles and get things done. I like to set a goal and plan for it and then put one foot in front of the other to achieve it. When I get stuck or lack motivation I look around for others that I can draw inspiration from to get me back on track. I use podcasts, audiobooks, and YouTube to get inspired.
I am sure I’m not the only one out there striving for goals that are quiet and humble. Does any of this resonate with you? What are your thoughts and experiences? How do you put your plans into action?